Private Conversations with the Lady

[soulspice]

[Welcome to the Lady's...not home far from home, but it's a place she tolerates. The moment you enter it's clear she did her best to make this office in the bookstore a place she approves.

Outfitted with an overly plush chair on a rather elaborate rug, the desk is overflowing with countless books stacked everywhere, with everything serving as a makeshift bookshelf including an errant fax machine. The Lady seems to have tried her best to make the amenities up to her standards: there’s a tray with a teapot, notes everywhere written with confusing ciphers, and what seems to be an attempt to make a generator, but wasn’t completed.

Where the Lady sits it’s far more orderly, facing the door and giving her the high ground against anyone who enters. On the far wall hangs a large portrait of the Lady, adding character and additional charm. Truly, this is the office of someone who wants you to feel small before her presence.

And, there on her chair, there she is. When the door opened she turned her head towards you, seeing who it was. Invariably of who it is, she sighs like this is a big interruption of her work, and keeps writing and drawing]

Don't touch anything and make sure you don't track mud in. If you have any complaints go see Rembrandt.

[She didn't even look up while saying that. So, what brings you to her office today?]

Comments

monday afternoon

[psychophant]

[Hey, Lady!! Surely you weren't expecting to be left alone for too long. So here's Iago, knocking before letting himself in and closing the door behind him.]

Good afternoon. I hope I'm not interrupting you.

[soulspice]

You certainly aren't. I have a lot of free time now.

[To the point where being in this office is a bit tedious, but hey, her duty is talking to everyone. No other choice, really]

[psychophant]

[the lady suffers so much having to put up with these hooligans.]

Then perhaps I can entertain you for a bit.

[It's only kind of a joke. Maybe.]

I was wondering if you would be willing to discuss the murder and trial with me. I understand that there are things you certainly can't reveal, but I would like to hear your thoughts on Shin and... well, all of that, really.

[Is this a very round-about way of saying "did you have fun", because this might be a very round-about way of saying "did you have fun".]

[soulspice]

Of course, I have no objections.

[That disquieting grin of hers from the trial is back]

That fool was so easily lead around. While I did find him interesting, and his art would hold a lot of interest for...some people I unfortunately know too well, it was all a bit too much for me, I admit.

[She has standards. Using the corpses of her enemies as furniture is tacky]

[psychophant]

[oh thank the gods, someone who understands.]

I'm pleased to hear that; I feel the same way. If I'd known he was so interesting, I would have tried to learn more about him earlier. Unfortunately I didn't, and we didn't get along at all.

[Oil and water and all that. Also Iago looting the art studio didn't help any.]

I find the concept of his artwork both fascinating and revolting, but I can't complain about never seeing any of his work. You have my thanks for not permitting him to toy with the bodies.

[Not because he particularly cares about what happens to them, but because that's gross.]

[soulspice]

Believe me, that's the first thing he asked permission for when he came to see me a few weeks ago. He even offered to decorate the castle! I barely could contain myself from recoiling at such a thought!

[Like, she doesn't want anyone to come to the castle at all, but the thought of decorating the insides with corpses almost made her dizzy]

[psychophant]

How forward of him...

[yikes and a half!!!]

I imagine he wasn't someone you imagined killing for that incentive. Will you tell me who else you were thinking of now that the incentive is off the table?

[.............]

Was it Zangetsu or Ulquiorra? I can certainly understand your disappointment if it was one of them.

[he's still mad about pizza's death, so!!!!!!!]

[soulspice]

Zangetsu. I was so excited when it turned out he had taken the bait and was going to kill someone, but then...that idiot had to screw up! He can't even do something as easy as killing!

[She stands up from her seat, very clearly exasperated -- thankfully not towards Iago. She paces in front of her portrait]

All he had to do was commit a murder, and then I'd get to kill him myself! Just like I had thought he even made it incredibly easy to know it had been him! I was looking forward to seeing the trial end in ten minutes and then he'd be dead! I bet if I asked him to kill me, he'd fail at that too even though he very clearly wants to do that, that moron!

[She has the consolation that her actions had led to accurate result...until the point where Zangetsu turned out to be a failure at murder. She never thought he would fail]

[psychophant]

[oh no, look at her go...]

Honestly, I wish he would have succeeded as well, if only so we'd be rid of him.

[It would have been really cathartic to see at least one of the people responsible for Pizza's death be brutally murdered, but no!!!! Iago can't have nice things!!!!!]

It's highly likely he'll do something stupid, so perhaps he'll break a rule and you can punish him. I'm a bit surprised you didn't for that stunt with the water earlier.

[During one of the trials, where he was being rude to our blue-eyed pals.]

[soulspice]

I was so tempted to let him die. I'd have loved to let them have a feast with him.

[She sighs, facepalming, and wincing when she hits her half-mask]

But there's a time and place for everything. If I let him die in front of you all no matter how deserved it was, I can assure you everyone would spend the next two hours yelling at me and some would demand to know why we hadn't done a thing to save him. I don't care about the trial's result, but I wasn't in mood to spend that long engaging in pointless banter.

[psychophant]

[oh, mood. why do you think he tries to avoid facepalming....]

Ah, that's a very good point. While it would have been what he deserves, it would have been entirely too much of a hassle. I don't blame you for that. If he tries it again, I hope you do kill him. Brutally, if possible.

[thanks iago]

[soulspice]

[The Lady smiles]

Of course, of course. Knowing him, he will give me a good reason to do it. I'm looking forward to that.

[Although Zangetsu would have a couple uses in her schemes, she'd gladly murder him just to get him out of the way, no matter how useful he could be]

You do seem to have a lot of animosity towards him. Has he been bothering you that much?

[psychophant]

Oh no, he doesn't bother me personally. I'm simply not fond of him.

[Part of it is being disgusted by the cannibalism, part of it is anger at the Pizza situation, and part of it is just that he's grating and Iago doesn't like him. Good things all around...]

Is he the one you hate the most out of us?

[soulspice]

Definitely. It may be hard to believe, Iago, but I actually don't want to be killing most of you...for no reason. You all are more valuable alive than dead, but him? I hate him so much I don't care about that.

[psychophant]

Sometimes people are entirely too much of a pain even if they are useful. It's much easier to work around them when they're dead.

[nice people saying wonderful things...]

Oh, but that is something I'm a bit curious about - if we're more useful to you alive, then why give us incentives to kill each other?

[And you know. The entire murdergame setup.]

[soulspice]

...

[The Lady winces for a moment, she hurries to replace that with a sneer. The first few words come a bit slow, but she quickly gets back to her normal speaking speed:]

Just because people are once useful it doesn't mean they'll be useful forever. While all of you are useful alive, none of you are indispensable. There's much to be gained with your deaths -- and believe me, overseeing all of you is much easier when there are fewer people.

Besides, I also find interesting what kind of temptations people do awful things for -- especially if I can fulfill them.

[psychophant]

[Hmm... He's noticed it, but he won't call her out on it.]

I understand where you're coming from. The less people you have to keep an eye on, the better. I can only imagine how annoying it is to deal with all of us.

[Erik climbing into the mail chute, Zangetsu and Ulquiorra throwing down and breaking the pool, Dazai existing...]

It does sound like it would be interesting to watch everyone's reactions. This setup sounds like the sort of thing King Garon would enjoy, if he was patient enough to wait and watch.

[He's more fond of executing people without a second thought, but sadism yay.....]

This may not be a question you can answer, but ideally, which of us would you like to keep alive?

[soulspice]

Ideally? Oh, that's not a difficult one at all. [She sits back in her seat]

You, of course. Cumore and Dist also have a lot of potential. Raven is likable and not a moron, and I would like to keep Seteth around, to see more of how he handles the spikes.

Other than you five, I couldn't care less who is left alive. Not that I'll make it any easier for you all to survive, I have to at least keep a certain modicum of fairness in this ordeal.

[She says, as if she isn't already trying to steer things in a certain direction with her actions]

[psychophant]

[Well, will you look at that.]

If this ends up going as you'd like and the five of us are left, I certainly won't have any complaints.

[Seteth's the only one he doesn't really like, but Seteth is fascinating so keeping him alive is good.

...And more importantly, Rideaux is not on that list and yes Iago's still being petty about trial #2 why do you ask!!!]

But I do understand, I'm not expecting any sort of protection from you or anything, I was merely curious.

[...]

So naturally, I have to ask about the ones you hope will die.

[gossiping with this lady, this is where we are now...]

[soulspice]

[She seems at ease gossiping, hah! Apparently the easiest way to get through her really is by being an awful person who is flippant about other people's lives, who'd have thought]

I believe we both know what name comes to mind right away. [Starts with Z, buddy] Other than him, Dazai dying would make my day too. I also want Ango dead. I like him, but he's too dangerous to let live.

[psychophant]

[it's no wonder you and cumore get along......]

It's because of that ability he has back home, correct? I can certainly see where that would be concerning.

That's less people than I thought; I'm fairly sure I want more of them dead than you do.

[he definitely does, because iago is petty.]

[soulspice]

[She shrugs nonchalantly]

Aw, now that I didn't see coming! Iago, I had a measure of control in who to bring and who not to bring. It'd be silly of me to bring a bunch of people I'd hate the guts of.

...although obviously I have been proven wrong a couple times already. A few are more of a bother than I expected them to be, but in general I'm satisfied I wasn't wrong about most of you.

[She puts her chin in her hands, eager]

Oh, tell me who you want gone! Give me all the details, dear, tell me who you loathe so much.

[psychophant]

[Cumore did mention something along those lines before... He'll definitely have to ask her about it.

...After bitching, of course!!]

I certainly don't mind sharing. Zangetsu is entirely too much of a pain and I sincerely hope he ends up dead. Ulquiorra manages to be entirely useless and irritating at the same time with how he treats everyone as though they're beneath him. Dazai is obnoxious, that's reason enough on its own. And Rideaux likes to think he's smart, but he's possibly the most irritating person I've ever had the misfortune of meeting.

[He ticks them off one by one on his fingers, then pauses when he reaches the end. Huh. He thought he hated more than just four people enough to want them dead...]

Most of the others don't matter to me at all. Whether they live or die doesn't have any impact on me.

[can't wait for iago to have another unexpected feeling about someone!!!]

[soulspice]

[The Lady makes a face of indignation]

Dazai comes here and makes his friendliest faces while feigning interest in the stuff I do! That idiot seems to think I wouldn't notice he's two-faced. He's not the kind of person who would get along with someone like me and we both know it, but he keeps pretending he doesn't know that. He's infuriating!

[Truthfully, she holds no hope anyone here has any positive feelings towards her, but at least they have the decency to either not hide their hatred, or at least be courteous and not annoying while pretending to not hate her guts. She can appreciate the latter more than the former, really]

Rideaux is...I had some hopes for him, I admit. But after seeing him around I believe he and I wouldn't work well together. He's too...he just is too Rideaux to be a good work partner.

[psychophant]

I have no doubts he's trying to get information from you and thinks he can act nice enough until you buy his act. Truly, I'm sorry you have to put up with that sort of stupidity.

[maybe dazai will be the next person the lady strangles!!!]

That's the best summation of Rideaux, really. He's aggravating and refuses to even pretend to play nice with others. I wouldn't have nearly as much of an issue with him if he didn't constantly feel the need to assert himself.

[UGH!! At least the Lady gets him on why Rideaux is such a pain.]

I must say that you did choose some very interesting people, however. So if I may ask... Why did you choose me?

[It's not any sort of egotistical thing (although it could be depending on the answer!!) or self-doubt or anything like that, it really is just curiosity that drives him to ask. Out of everyone in Nohr and his world, what drew her to him?]